Feeling stressed?

Another mentor (thanks Amy!) forwarded me the following story over a year ago and I've held on to it knowing I just might need to reflect on it from time to time:

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. We have had one heck of a winter and the blahs can really take a toll on some of us.  Here at Child Care Answers we have seen an increase in calls requesting technical assistance for challenging behaviors...this can be very stressful for early childhood educators.  It's tax time, another contributor to our stress!  I saw there's more snow coming Wednesday...stress!  It's only Monday...stress!  The list goes on and on and on... 

Television actress and author Marilu Henner said, "Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy, and rewarding life."

American philosopher and psychologist William James wants us to change our thinking when we begin to feel stress, "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another."

As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.  Ask yourself if you are being realistic and consider alternative responses to the stress you are feeling.  Don't carry your burdens through the evening and into the night. Remember to put your glass down!

Coping with Anxiety

I just came across this article from Child Care Exchange and thought that it might be useful to you.

Early childhood professionals confront, on a daily basis, a wide range of anxiety inducing situations: Will our program survive?, How can I make ends meet on such a low salary?, Will more teachers call in sick tomorrow?, Will swine flu force us to close?, Will state funding be slashed?, etc. In Real Simple Magazine (October, 2009), Robert Leahy described "10 Ways to Cope with Anxiety." Here are two examples...

Set aside worry time. Try setting aside 20 minutes every day — let's say at 4:30 pm — just for worries. If you are fretting at 10 a.m., jot down the reason and resolve to think it through later. By the time 4:30 comes around, many of your troubles won't even matter anymore. And, you will have spent almost an entire day anxiety-free.

Breathe it out. You may notice that when your body is tense, you hold your breath. Focusing on breathing is a common but effective technique for calming your nerves. Where is your breath now and where is your mind? Bring them together. Listen to the movement of your breath. Concentrate only on breathing in and out, beginning and ending, breath to breath, moment to moment.

Helping Children and Teens Deal with Stress in an Uncertain Times

INDIANAPOLIS - As families across the country face losses of nest eggs, homes
or jobs, their young children and teens need emotional support.
Child psychologist Michele C. Thorne, Ph.D., clinical director of the Consult
Liaison Service at Riley Hospital for Children and assistant professor of clinical
psychology at the Indiana University School of Medicine, says that parents should
recognize that even newborn babies pick up on the emotional tones of adult stress.
She says children of any age, including teens, need to be reassured that they are
safe and will be cared for no matter how the family is faring.

Children, especially those prone to anxiety, will jump to conclusions and worry.
Dr. Thorne says that if upheaval is occurring or is feared, it is better for children
and teens to be prepared.

"Parents need to talk with their children and teens because they need time to adjust
to changes. But parents also should censor what they say and shouldn't burden their
children with adult worries and concerns," she said.

That's because children aren't ready to be saddled with adult burdens. The frontal
lobe, the part of the brain that handles planning, attention, concentration, and
reasoning isn't fully developed until late adolescence or early adulthood. Or as Dr.
Thorne puts it, the main onboard computer which directs how an individual makes
decisions isn't fully programmed in children and teens.

She recommends weekly family meetings, especially when a family is going
through a difficult time. For example, parents might say that Dad will be home
more often because he isn't working and that he will need to use the computer
because it helps him locate job leads or keep up with financial markets.
"It's best to talk with your children about what is going on and to explain the
family's strategies for dealing with it," she said.

While parents want their children to know that they can ask questions or offer
suggestions she counsels against involving children in decisions such as whether to
move or how to handle situations outside their spheres of influence.
"You don't want to make your child or teen think you don't appreciate their advice
so it's best not to solicit their opinions on things which they are unqualified to make
a decision," she said.

As media headlines carry daily updates on the global economic crisis and broadcast
news of possible recession, children and teens may be facing an information
overload even if not directly affected. Dr. Thorne suggests that parents investigate
what is being presented in their children's classrooms for guidance on discussions
at home.

If a child appears to be having trouble coping with stress or appears anxious,
parents should consult with the child's pediatrician or community mental health
services or school counselor. Parents should also make sure they have their own
emotional supports in place, which will provide them with the ability to best help
their children.


Dr. Thorne's research focuses on the relationship between psychological thriving
and coping processes during major life transitions.

About Riley Hospital for Children As Indiana's first and only comprehensive hospital dedicated exclusively
to the care of children, Riley Hospital for Children, a part of Clarian Health, has provided compassionate care,
support and comfort to children and their families for 80 years. Each year Riley serves over 160,000 inpatients and outpatients from across Indiana, the nation and the world. Riley Hospital's partnership with Clarian Health and its strong affiliation with the Indiana University School of Medicine make it the only comprehensive clinical resource for Indiana's children and the premiere source for health related information for their parents.

From simple care associated with the health and wellness of children and less complex specialty care to the
most critically-ill and medically complex cases, Riley Hospital for Children is the leader for pediatric care in
the state and the region. In 2004, Clarian became Indiana's first magnet hospital system. Clarian Health
Partners, Inc. operates the Methodist Hospital, Indiana University Hospital and Riley Hospital campuses as a
single hospital under Indiana law.

CONTACT: Cindy Fox Aisen
317-274-7722
caisen@iupui.edu